Posts by individuals wife

25

Bethel rules... fables or truth...

by MrMoe in

jw
friends

can you all enlighten me, i have heard certain "bethel rules" and wanted to find out if they are fact or fiction.

1. only one item on any surface at any time (a phone or lamp etc.. as long as it is just 1 item.).

2. allowance of $80 a month for toiletries etc... (has that allowance gone up).

individuals wife

I heard that you get issued with a door key when you arrive and if you lose it you are reprimanded and given another. If you lose that one you do not get another... so what then? Are you a prisoner in Bethel?!?!

2

Is there a meaning to life?Does it matter anymore?

by sleepy in

jw
friends

what is the meaning of life?

is there a god ?.

are all questions that at one time i though i had the answers to or at least almost had the answers to.. now , well i don't know.. the question i now consider is ,does it matter?.

individuals wife

What are we? what is the meaning of life? is there a God ?

In answer to your first question - I think we are special, unusual creatures who have a yearning to know more about our existence, we have a spirituality, a thirst for knowledge about our place in the universe. We are set apart from all the other creatures on this planet in these respects.

In answer to your second question - well, if only I had the whole answer to that question... I feel that the meaning of life is to live it to the full, to utilise every moment, not waste a second. To love and be loved. To be happy and make others happy. To be responsible towards others and the world around you. We are very fortunate to have life and I feel that it is a waste if we do not try and do something useful with it.

Now, your third question.... is there a God? Mmmmm, generally I do not believe in things unless I actually see them for myself, I am a sceptical person, things need to be proved to me, yet for all that I find myself very drawn to the concept of God. I had always been a religious person, attended different churches, listened to differing messages, studied a variety of belief systems. Then I found the JWs. Through their teachings I became afraid of God, I feared Him. I was afraid of His judgmental attitude and his behaviour towards people in the Bible. I was coming across new terminology - God is jealous, God was angry, God demands this, God demands that. No longer did I see him in the same light. When I da'd last year I left with no trace of faith left in me whatsoever, it had all been drained out of me, I was left with no opinions one way or the other, I just did not care anymore.

Now, as time goes on and I am realising that the teachings of the society are twisted and judgmental I am finding the stirrings of my faith beginning to disturb me once again. It has been something that I have tried to suppress, I thought I had had enough of religion to last me a lifetime. Yet there is something there, a tiny piece of faith that has remained and is nagging me from within. I don't know what I shall do with it, whether I will pursue it or not, I don't know. It is so hard knowing which direction to go in.

All I know is that I have come out of the JWs a whole lot wiser and know what I do NOT want to believe.

As for the truth, it may be out there somewhere, I hope it is, and I hope that I do find it one day. I do believe though that no one religion has a monopoly with the truth and when I look around at the work of some of the churches who deal with homeless and needy and poor I realise that they certainly have more of the truth of Gods word than the JWs ever had. These churches really respond to the words of Jesus, they have the mark of true Christianity because they choose to imitate him.

20

A brief summary of life as one of JW's

by Angst in

thank you stacey and individual's wife!

i appreciate your comments and encouragement.

the ex-witnesses i am in communication with are family and they are very hateful towards the witnesses.

individuals wife

Wow, that it is an incredible story - to be able to escape after being so 'prepared' as a youngster is a real achievement.

Everytime I hear of life at Bethel I marvel at how anybody can ever stick being there - it sounds like a nightmare. How you survived over 18 months is a mystery to me! Examples like yours serve as a reminder of why I left...

You asked the question:

Why do Witnesses have to treat former Witnesses so poorly?

I feel they do this for a whole variety of reasons, all of them unscriptual, but the main reason I believe is fear. Fear that they will be ousted from the congregation. I am continually shunned by many former friends who I know would still speak to me regardless of my religious leanings if it were'nt for the threat of being disfellowshipped. It is certainly a sad state of affairs and I am sure their disgusting conduct is being watched by God and being disapproved of.

11

Post WTBTS Life

by Angst in

i have been inactive for about three and a half years now and just recently after making some big changes in my life have i made a commitment not to return to the "organization".

for quite awhile now i've just felt like i was apathetic towards religion.

now i'm disgusted by religion, religious dogma, and fanaticism.. one thing that i've noticed in those i deal with that are ex-witnesses is that many tend to swing the exact opposite direction once they leave.

individuals wife

Angst - First of a big welcome to the board - I hope that you enjoy your time here and find it useful, comforting, stimulating, educational, whatever you want it to be or need it to be.

I congratulate you on your determination never to go back to the organisation - it can be quite daunting to step out from the org. and reclaim your life. I sincerely hope that things are going well for you and that you are managing to move on in your life.

You make an interesting point about people swinging the opposite way when they leave the organisation - I think what you are observing is peoples reaction to freedom - the organisation, as you are certainly aware, is very lethal to the individuality of a person, his freedom of expression and his 'spirit'. When people are constantly told not to do this, or not to do that, it is only human nature to go against this when the opportunity arises. When the chains of the organisation are broken a person is able to become the person they want to be instead of the person the Society wants them to be.

For those that maybe leave and immediately get a tattoo or a piercing I can understand that this maybe serves as a sign to others that they are free to live life as they wish. I imagine it must be quite a liberating experience although I have no desire to do either myself!

I am no psychiatrist but I believe that the drug issue may be an expression of freedom also, and perhaps a way to forget the pain of their experiences... again I have no desire to get involved with this either!

As for immoral lifestyles, I am not convinced that being an exJW tends to make you immoral - far from it in fact. You will find a lot of people on this board who are more than content with their partners and would not dream of looking elsewhere - me for starters! To get away from the organisations rules and regulations about how you should conduct your sex life is very refreshing - it no longer feels as though you have to analyse everything. Immorality amongst unmarried people is another matter entirely and whether you agree with sex before marriage is quite up to you, in a perfect world - yes, it would be nice, but it is not practical and could lead to problems of incompatibility if not explored prior to marriage.

Holidays? I dont know of anyone who celebrates Christmas purely because to them it signifies the birth of Christ. I am sure you would agree with me that today the festival has lost much of its meaning.
To most people it is merely a time for families to get together, have a good meal, exchange gifts and generally relax and watch the women do all the work... The religion has almost been removed from Christmas now, and Easter too. What child associates Easter with Christ? More like chocolate eggs and the Easter bunny. As for birthdays, when I saw how lame the JW argument was for not celebrating them I realised that there is nothing wrong in congratulating my kids on reaching little milestones in their lives, making them feel extra special for one day of the year, giving them something to look forward to - seeing their little faces light up because they know they are the centre of attention... Is God really that jealous that he cant bear to see this delight in children?
And when a person reaches his 100th birthday is it so wrong to make a fuss and say 'well done - what an achievement - have a happy day!'

I, like you, maintain a good conscience and try to follow my heart, not the world or the JWs. I never have been one to follow the crowd. My main aim is to keep my family happy and stable and to try and give as much of my time and energy as possible to help other people. And what other people do with their freedom - I leave up to them, some of them have been in chains so long - they deserve to stretch their legs a little....

Anyway, like I said, a big welcome - looking forward to hearing more from you!

1

Imagine

by drahcir yarrum in

jw
friends

in the words of the late john lennon, "imagine".

imagine that the jw's were right and armageddon made bird feed out of everyone except jw's.

imagine that you survived into the "new world".

individuals wife

Good grief... and to think we prayed for that to come... so glad to have woken up to the real world.

Did we honestly believe that we would be happy in a world full of JWs, some days - even when I was a JW - I could not be comfortable surrounded by such hypocrisy, such self-righteousness, such arrogance.
Imagine living in a world where everyone walks around with a smug look on their face as if to say - 'there, we were right all along - they should have listened to us.'

The attitude of some JWs I worked with on the doors really used to disgust me - their contempt for their fellow humans, their disregard for their own belief systems, the way they would come away from a door and speak in a derogatory fashion about the householder - I can't imagine that Jesus would have done such a thing!

No, I leave the new system in the nightmare department, where it belongs. With the JWs in charge it would be unbearable.

13

The DAY AFTER [Dateline]

by biblexaminer in

jw
friends

what will happen the day after?.

i have a recent personal experience from "field service" that may shed a little light on this subject.. first, i do believe that many of my "bros and sises" will see this.

they are all dateline watchers, and just knowing their personalities, if they are able, they will watch.. will they talk about it amongst themselves?

individuals wife

We had a programme on JWs in the UK a few years ago which was a less than positive look at the organisation.... can't remember the name but I do remember that we were warned from the platform not to watch it. Anyway, there we were the next day meeting up for field service and the subject of the programme came up and one brother asked what we could say in response to questions about the programme from householders - as none of us had watched it (yeah, right! We did and I suspect most of the others had too..) how could we respond to points raised about it?

The response to the brothers question? Say 'no comment'.

How would that have sounded on the doors? How lame! Surely if the points raised on the programme were false or misleading we would be able to defend any question the householder could bring up on it??
Instead we had to stick with the instructions given by the service overseer and just sound stupid... 'no comment... but would you like our latest magazine on bleh, bleh, bleh...'. With a response like that we deserved to have doors slammed in our faces even more than usual!!

I am sure that even as we speak the org. are working on damage limitation formulating more weak responses, maybe even working on literature to contradict the claims made against them. Somehow I dont believe this time that they will be able to pull the wool over peoples eyes...

2

I'm so happy, Not shunned by one sister !!!!!

by jurs in

jw
friends

i am so happy.

i just got a call from a sister who i was very close to.

her husband is an elder so she has to call me when he's not home.

individuals wife

jurs - I am just so happy for you! It must be wonderful to reclaim that friendship, at least someone is fighting against the stupidity of shunning. I always hoped that some of my 'friends' would have stepped beyond that line that the JWs draw and still keep in touch. Alas it was'nt to happen and now I am shunned by all of them. It is very hard to walk away from what I considered to be very good frienships and it saddens me to realise that those friendships were so conditional, not real friendships at all.

I have been in contact with a sister who was disfellowshipped shortly after I disassociated but I do find it very difficult to let the friendship grow to anything like it was when we were both in the organisation - there is still very much a barrier between us, I always feel that if she had not been df'd she would still be shunning me now and I find that very hard to deal with. Also if she was ever to repent and return to the congregation it would be like a double blow for me and a return to being shunned. In a way I suppose I am trying to protect myself by keeping my distance, also the fact is that she still believes most of the teachings of the JWs - she will not hear a word against them... yet. Maybe in time things will change, I hope that they do, it would be nice to have another ally.

The most interesting thing that I have discovered from my conversations with her is the insight into what happened in the congregation following my distribution of da' letters. They apparently had to do a lot of 'damage limitation', a local needs item brought up some of the things mentioned in my letter, and the conclusion reached by most of the congregation, according to this sister, was that I would soon be back in the hall with my tail between my legs asking for re-instatement. Yeah, right, don't think so...

So, I am so happy for you that you have this friend back - it gives me hope for the future, that one day I may have that phone call out of the blue.....

76

I Said Goodbye

by Farkel in

jw
friends

my father was rushed by ambulance from his rest home to st. marks hospital in salt lake city, utah friday, but i only just heard about it.

i received a call from the floor nurse and she told me he is not expected to live.

his lungs are filled fill up with fluid and are continuing to fill u with more fluid: he has pneumonia.

individuals wife

Farkel

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time, I lost my father 6 years ago to a brain haemorrhage when he was just 41 and to this day I always feel so sad that I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to him. It truly is a devastating thing to have to live through and it has taken me a long time to get to the point where I can remember the good times we shared before thinking about the awful time we spent in hospital by his bedside knowing that he would never wake up. I sincerely hope that these messages here manage to give you some small comfort.

My heart goes out to you Farkel.

2